Back to Basics

Well, its been a while since I have blogged and about a month I think that I have been off track some. I gained 1.5lbs over the past two weeks, which is to be expected since I had family here and was not even trying to pay attention to what I was eating. In addtion to that I had a birthday that I was not looking forward to and it has been very HOT here in this Sunshine state adding to my spooling emotions.  Thankfully we were moving around alot, or I would have gained alot more. I am still a bit away from where I started which is good. But I actually feel gross. My body is begging for healthy food and excercise and I am ready to get back on track. 

I started tracking again this morning and although I have more family coming, and will also be going home this month, I am going to do my best at staying on the right path. The good thing is that not only do I feel I need and have to, I WANT to. 

I feel like I am sooo sick of food. Its not that I have been eating tons and tons of it, or anything that is very fattening or anything persay... cant really explain it. But nothing sounds good and I am glad! I think its because i have had every TYPE of food lately. Mexican, Italian.. etc. This past weekend we went back to the basics. Veges, small portion of meat, if any etc.. and it felt good. My body was happy! 

Although I have alot of homework in the next few days, and my skin is burnt, I am still going to try to get in some good cardio as well.

I wish you all the best in your own continued success! 

AJ♥

Well thats enough of that!

Well.........hmmm..... where to begin. 

The past few weeks have been extremely challenging for me. My father was in critical care again, school has been sucking, I was on my period, I have been in a funky mean, mad, irritated and emotional mood. I got out of the pattern of tracking my foods and I started eating whatever comfort foods I wanted. I know some of it has to do with my weird period cycles which I have had my whole life because of the endometriosis. It feels like the whole process consumes three weeks out of a month for me compared to the normal one. My emotions and cramps etc start two weeks prior to when I actually start. It would be okay to know that was coming but my cycles are always so messed up too. Sorry to whatever male may be reading this, but I think its important. In addition to that I am going to be 30 in a few weeks and it scares the hell out of me. I am not where I wanted to be at this age, especially health wise.  I have not been working out as much as I would like either and I just generally feel like crap because of these changes. 

Thankfully, and I do not know how. I have been pretty lucky.  The first week I lost 1.1lbs still and the second week I only gained .9 so these bad habits have kind of balanced themselves out. I do not know if I will be as lucky come Monday again. I tried to get back on track at the beginning of the week but found it very difficult. But today I started back up and feel great. 

The good news is that my mind and body have somewhat changed for the better and begun the mind process, because even though I was doing bad, I still did some good things without trying. I still ate some healthy meals and actually I ate more vegetarian meals the past few weeks than anything else. I still went on a few very long walks without thinking about it really. 

But there are so many other things that are getting me down. I know that I am going to be 30 and I know that I am not as attractive as I can be, nor do I ever know that I ever was. I have spent all of my "younger" years being fat and unhappy and now I am afraid that when and if I do lose all this weight, I still will not be beautiful. I know my husband thinks that I am, and that the weight doesnt really bother him (which sometimes, I feel acts as an enabler), but I do not feel attractive, especially in the past few months and I know its hurting our relationship some. 

I just get so tired of the up and down few pounds no matter how hard I try. I want to go to a doctor and find out if there is something causing this, but we do not currently have insurance. It is too expensive through his work and when we went this past weekend to look at getting independant insurance we were told that they would not take me because I was too big. TELL ME THAT doesnt insult you to the bone. I felt horrible. He will not get insurance without me, and now I feel like I am holding him back from getting the care he needs too. 

Anyways, I am going to try to keep pushing forward and finding things that I enjoy. I just got done boxing and it felt sooo good. I just need to throw something else in there besides walkng and boxing and the occasional swimming (which will get more frequent soon) I am thinking abotu getting a exercise bike, the kind with the chair and not the seat. (those seats cut into me and it hurts). I tried one out at the store and said to myself I could do this for quite some time without getting up so I might try that. 

I also am going to bust out my rollerskates and attempt to get back at that too. I do not have anyone who will go to the rink with me, so Ill start outside and teach Noah and Dave to do it. 

I am excited to be starting all over again, and thankful that I my setback did not bring me back to my starting weight. 

Thanks for listening and especially thanks to Valencia for holding me accountable. 

Love you all, 

AJ ♥

Short and Sweet

Okay, I am going to make this a quick and to the point one.

I have been going through ALOT and fell off the bandwagon a little. I DO NOT KNOW how, but I still managed to lose over a lb the past week. I know that will not be my fate two weeks in a row. As soon as Monday comes I am going to jump back on and take control back, no matter what the scale tells me..

Thats all...

AJ ♥

Disappointed

Well, I weighed in today and I was hoping for another great week but I knew in my heart that was not going to happen. There was only one or two days that I slightly went over my calorie intake for the day, and I thought that I would still be okay since I was still thousands of calories less than I used to consume. I cannot think that way though, because I allow myself to enable myself to eat more.

I did not feel the greatest this week and I had alot less activity as well. I still boxed a few times this past week and went on many walks, but it was just not enough to offset those extra calories I was intaking. I think my biggest problem was that we went out to eat too many times. last week when I had a big loss, we had only done our friday night pizza. This week, we went out for BBQ one night, we went out on friday instead of pizza, and I had Jimmy Johns for lunch and Saturday we went out for lunch since we were out of town. NOW I must say that I am somewhat still proud of myself though because I chose what I thought to be the most healthy things on the menu, and I did not finish any of them, or keep the leftovers. In addition to that, even though I did not want to, I still tracked everything. In my tracking, it put me less than what I needed for the day, but I assume that there were still things like fat grams that set me over as I was not able to track those, or how the food was completely prepared. I also became very full on those meals and didnt eat much the rest of the day, which is unlike my usual eating of small meals all day long.


So when I weighed in this morning I was +0.7lbs. I suppose that it is good that with all that had happened this week I didnt even gain 1 lb. Close, but ... Anyways.

I am going to just pick up my spirits and think to myself this is a new week, I KNOW where I went wrong and I am going to avoid that... I also asked David to PLEASE help to prevent that from happening. Such as putting ourselves in situations in which we have to go out to eat because we are away from home. If we do, we will pack a lunch like we do most of the time and have a picnic.


I still feel very dizzy today, but I am not going to let that stop me from doing my best.

AJ♥

SOOOO EXCITED!!!!!

Well, after a long week of what actually didnt feel bad..... I LOST 2.4 lbs!!!! Last night I was starting to get really anxious and discouraged wondering if when I stepped on the scale today it was going to reflect all of my changes in the past week because I worked hard to keep up with this new plan and goals I made for myself, but it paid off and I am soo happy. I know I may not always have weeks like this but I feel great and by last night I actually felt like I had a routine going that I can stick with. I am going to keep at the same pace because if I push any harder right now I think it will burn me out. When I reach a plateau I will step it up some. 

I have been logging every single calorie that I eat, and I now find myself planning ahead of time compared to the other times when I would attempt to log calories. Now I find out how many calories a certain meal is going to be and I set a plan for the day. Before I would just count at the time of eating and I would be like "OOPs, guess I cant eat for the rest of the day, because this one meal took up all my calories".. But now I KNOW how much I will have after a certain meal, and lately I have had about 200-300 left each day, and not even feeling like it. I have cut my calorie intake down at least 1000 a day. I am at 1700 a day, that is what was reccommended and that feels right. The first few days I struggled, but now I am good. I cannot believe that last night I was only at like 1300 for the day. I know that alot of people will say that is too little, but if I feel okay and my body is not feeling like I am getting ill from it, then why not? I do not try to do that though. I try to eat 1700 but I have been eating snacks in between meals, and I just think I found alot of snacks that are filling but do not have many calories so that is why. And the snacks are good for me. Like a few crackers and a string cheese. 

Also, I have been boxing ever other day, for the whole week and I am going to keep that up. I am only at 15 mins right now, but I feel good with that. I have been doing any little thing to keep moving, David used to help me a ton with the household chores but now I have been taking those on before he even gets home in order to burn more calories, I have been doing all the laundry, dishes, cooking etc.. and it feels great. We still go for a few short walks a day, and I have been finding new activities just to keep me moving. Like taking Noah to storytime at the library or bookstore, or going shopping. This week I even tackled grocery shopping with just Noah, and without David. 

I feel great and I am excited to keep moving on this journey! I feel that my mind is changing, and I think that is a key factor as well! 

Thanks for listening! And if you are on a journey yourself, I encourage you to find what works for YOU and not what everyone else is telling you. Well bits and pieces, but take in what works for you and leave the rest.... Its all about how you feel, and if you feel crappy on a plan you are on, its not going to work.

Oh and get a great support system, cuz I know I have wonderful friends and family and a loving husband and son who inspire and encourage me daily!! 

Love 

AJ

Guilty....

So yesterday I tried to make a healthy choice for my lunch at Chik Fil A, but I did not do so when I walked in. I was all set with it up until that point, and I failed I had the usual with was well over 1200 calories. The good thing was that I had not eaten too many calories before hand and I was full for the rest of the day until I had a snack at night. So I did not go too much over my daily intake, but I did not eat great food either, and I felt weak that I could not make the best decision. I beat myself up yesterday and then I moved on. I feel better today, and I am off to another great start today. I am about to get some boxing in and a walk later before or after dinner. The weather is better today. It is up around 70. Yesterday it was 50 and gloomy out.. I am sure that had some to do with it, and the way I was woke up. I am looking forward to this weekend, we found a new park that we are going to go and take a long walk at, and we decided to take it easy and hang out by the pool. I am still in the mood to purge things out of my closet, which includes a huge bin of things I kept as memories... I will not get rid of all of them, but I really hope to get rid of some more. This helps with my stress. As I have gotten older, less has become more, and makes me happy. I HATE clutter and it brings me down.

By tracking my foods and calories, and using Calorie Counter website, I was also able to find out what I am getting too much of and not enough of. No surprise that I do not get enough Iron, I have struggled with that my whole life. Supposed to be taking iron pills. and also No surprise that I get too much sodium in a day... I really need to cut back on that. I love salty things.... and I eat alot of carbs..

Anyway, I will leave it at that today, before I start rambling on..

AJ

I did it!

So yesterday was a struggle because I woke up to loud lawn care and strong scents from the neighbors and the pollen was coming in the house all day long. It was hard to breathe and I had a constant sinus headache.. However, I still managed to go for a walk, do laundry, clean and box for 15 minutes. I did 1000 punches and it felt good. The other great thing is that I only went 67 calories over my suggested daily intake of 1700. The day before I consumed 2500 calories I am ashamed to say. I do not know how normal people that consume 2000-4000 cannot all be extremely over weight. It was only difficult at night, when of course biggest loser was on. But I did it. I had some steamed asparagus for a snack (I burned my hand though :(), and then later I had three triscuits and a string cheese. When I was going to bed I did feel a little dizzy, but I guess that would be expected when your calorie intake is 1000 less than what your body is used to. Surprisingly though, I did not feel that hungry throughout the day.

Today is going to be another challenging day for me. I had so much energy for about a week and then the last few days I have been waking up feeling like I didnt even go to sleep. I blame it on the weather and my allergies. Its only 65 right now compared to that of 85 yesterday although it is going to warm up more. But my sinuses hurt really bad again. The news crew said the pollen is going to keep getting worse through the week. I thought when I heard about it in Michigan in was bad, but it is actually extremely visible here. I have to keep dusting yellow film off from my furniture all the way into the middle of my house even. :(

Anyways.. I am tired today, and when I am tired or not feeling well I tend to CRAVE junk food, or greasy food. We promised Noah the other day we would take him to Chick fil A, which is actually somewhat healthy and all fresh foods so I guess if I am going to have a challenging day, I might as well eat there today, but I will check the nutrition info on the menu before we go and select the best option. I will get through this day to the best of my ability....

Take care,

AJ